How you deal with life....

Majority of the people thinks they’ve led an interesting life. Be it just what they’ve accomplished, hardships they went through, or even just a simple easy-going life.  The modest will say, “I’ve had a normal boring life” thinking they’ve never made waves, but in actuality compared to some, you have an interesting story to tell. Life stories people are willing to tell always intrigues me. Biographies if you will. What people went through to make them the way they are today. How they see the world around them.  How they view people around them. Reasons why they have the opinions they have. Past experiences always shapes the present and future self whether you choose to believe it or not.  Whether the result was that you refuse to make the same mistake, or something you’ve done and loved and want to do again. Every past is a learning experience. 
Forget everything you’ve been through, start over, clean slate? No, you can’t escape your past might as well embrace it and accept it. The things I remember, I appreciate. Definitely not proud of everything I’ve done, but nonetheless I appreciate it. Meaning, I appreciate what I’ve learned, what I’ve seen, even what I’ve done. Because it made me the person I am today. It made me have the opinions I have. Things change and some views I have now might be different in a year, or two years, or three years and so on and so on, depending on what I encounter in my life from here on out.

I might be using this term in the wrong way but this is how I feel and think. We adapt to the hands we’ve been dealt. We adapt to the lives and situations we’ve been shoved into. Think about the latest thing you’ve had to adapt to. Losing a parent and having to survive on your own. Being pregnant and having to provide for someone other than yourself.  Losing your job, or someone that once provided a second income and having to adapt from a lifestyle once full of frivolous spending to one that is careful and resourceful. How you deal with what life throws at you depends on you.
Oops, I lost track of my starting topic…. 
The easiest way for a biography to be given an accurate voice is by diaries, or journals. And in most cases diaries and journals are published in it’s entirety and not given an editor.  The only editing done would be putting it from a physical handwriting to the modern book publishing. Published in all of it’s grammatical and spelling errors. Proper grammar, punctuation and spelling eludes me so I would know not the difference. The point is getting across, and the emotion, feelings and thoughts is all I want to know about anyways. With these writings made public, you are able to read how people had to adapt to what they went through.
I will see how far back I can remember and put it into writing. Unfortunately for the curious few, I will not post it. Maybe it will put into prospective some things I do now. Maybe it will open up bigger wounds that have been pushed down. Maybe getting things out to myself will help with issues I deal with now. I guess I won't know until I do it.

The Perfect Person.

Is there such a thing?
When you see couples that have so much in common from their personalities to the things they like and they actually found each other, It puts a smile on my face. I know a few couples like that, but I will mention no names.
And then there are the ones that don't have a lot in common but other things keep them together. They enjoy eachother's company even if they don't do everything together. And with those couples, there is compromise.
I don't know which I would like better. Is it better to find someone that you have so much in common with that they are just pretty much you with a penis. I annoy the shit out of myself a lot so I really don't think this would be a good thing for me. Why, do I think strong personalities would be clashing? Cuz knowing me his personality would not get along with one of mine.
Or little in common with the other but you can't seem to be away from each other even still. I like that idea, you each do your own things but come back to each other at the end of the day. Even surprising the other when you want to do things together that the other likes.
When it comes down to it, I actually feel like the perfect person is just someone who loves and respects you. Does not lie to you, or cheat on you. Would never raise a hand to you, and is proud to have you with them. No one deserves to be cheated on and then lied to about it. Why be in a committed relationship if what you have you are not satisfied with. Don't even give the other the doubt that you are not being faithful.
Track records have a lot to do with it. My track record is not clean, I will not lie.  Maybe because I know how I am and what I've done, trust doesn't come so easy for me in other people. But I haven't made a real effort to find someone who I want to try this whole relationship thing with. I made a small effort for a bit but that didn't go so good. It takes so much effort and it really shouldn't.
I'm over this blog :-P

Bullies

Do people that bully others when they were younger feel bad about it now?
The ones that were bullied when younger, do they stop the cycle or do they themselves continue to do it in their adulthood? I've seen ones that claim they were bullied in school that bully people now. It's sad because they preach about how bad they were bullied and you'd think they would feel strongly about preventing it when they get older. Nope. It seems as though they think they have the right to make fun of others now because what they went through. Retaliation does not make you any less of a bully. The "They did it to me so I can do it back" mentality doesn't solve anything. When you react that way do you feel vindicated? You feel like you gave them a taste of their own medicine and try to justify it by pointing out how they did you wrong. But in turn just showed that you are no better. You sank to their level.
When I was younger there was no such thing as cyber bullying, People were picked on in person meaning that it was generally by people you knew. Cyber bullying takes a whole new form. People that you don't even know taking the meanest jabs at you through the internet. So much so that people actually commit suicide over it. Bullied victims are 7 to 9% more likely to consider suicide according to a study by Yale University. According to a study by ABC News over 30,000 children stay home every day due to the fear of being bullied. How sad is that.

A bit of a confessional story here. I remember in elementary My sister and I were waiting for Grandma to come and pick us up. We were waiting by the big tree with our jump rope. A girl came up to us and said she wanted to play. She was in my grade. She was the type of "chatty, everybody talk to me" personalities. We really didn't want to play, not because of who she was, We just didn't wanna play. She insisted so we said yes. I got annoyed and yanked my end of the jump rope hard enough that my sister's flew out of her hand. It gave the girl a rope burn on the back of her knee. The girl cried, I felt bad and apologized. Another girl who saw this went to the office and told on us. As upset as I was it didn't take me until after high school to realize that the girl telling on us did the right thing. My sister was innocent in this and I knew she felt bad for what I did to this girl. I didn't mean to hurt her. At the time I just thought of the "tattletale" as a little big mouth twat. Needless to say she herself turned out to be not very nice in high school. The term Bitch was used by others quite often to describe her. But just because I didn't like the girl's attitude didn't give me the right to do what I did.
Is there a difference between "kids being kids" vs "bullying"?  That's a fine line in my opinion.
I've seen it called "bullying" when 2 kids are playing on a playground and one gets hurt by the other and it's an outrage and the one that pushed is now a bully. When they BOTH were playing with each other. it was an accident but it gets that harsh label.

Do you remember every incident you've ever done that hurt someone else when you were younger?
Normally you always remember the terrible things that happened TO you, not BY you. I might have done more things that I would be ashamed of now but is it a good thing that I don't remember more? You tend to block things out of your memory, maybe for good reason.
This next story is probably my karma from the previous story.
High School, chubby, coke bottle glasses and the usual... low self esteem. Walking on the side walk. Guy comes up and puts is arm around my shoulder "Hey you wanna go out?" me:"what?" he laughs in my face and goes back to his friends who are now laughing at the complete douchy display, but in their eyes, he was cool. He just made fun of a weird girl minding her own business. I remember that. I remember his name. I remember what I was wearing and where I was walking from. I remember I cried in shame as I walked to the portable building to hang out with my friends before homeroom started, they asked me what was wrong and I said nothing. I don't think I ever told anyone that story, maybe just my sister.
Or because of my glasses people in my class would call me "grandma". I remember bringing candy to class and giving it to the popular kids just so they would be nice to me, and when I didn't have candy, I would get made fun of all over again. I don't hold grudges. But it's something that I would never forget. I can't imagine what others hold in their head. Things that others went through similar or worse. How they dealt with being constantly picked on, if they forgotten, if they forgave, if they grew past it. But keep in mind that back then our bullies weren't as horrid as kids are now.
That just shows that the terrible things that happen TO you, you don't forget. Do people really get satisfaction from putting others down? To make someone feel so bad to the point where they feel killing themselves is the only way you will stop.
To raise your children in this day and age to have no tolerance for bullying and to stand up for themselves in a way that does not resort to violence is the strongest thing you can do. Teaching them to not be ashamed to be who they are, teaching them right from wrong, and giving them every ounce of support is the greatest thing you can do for the next generation.
All of that of course, is just my opinion.

hereditary health

When you found out that a certain illness is hereditary in your family, How did you react?
Did you sulk and think you are doomed? or did you try what you could to ease the chances of getting it with those illnesses that can be calmed or at least controlled.
The way you take care of yourself now has a lot to do with how you treat your eventual ailments.
Eating habits, exercise,your life style pretty much.
Diabetes, high blood pressure and a bunch of other crap runs in my family. I don't have high blood pressure, and I'm trying to do my research on foods to control or help with my eventual diabetes diagnosis. I know a lot of people that are prone to certain illnesses yet they do nothing to help it. It's fine if they don't care about it, it's their life live it how you want, your money being spent on medical bills, but when they're constantly complaining about it that's when I lose you. That's when I don't understand.
But I'm not all innocent in this and I really shouldn't be talking. Look at me and my cigarettes. I know what it's doing to me right now. When people say I should quit my response to them "meh, I don't plan on living that long". It's a terrible response! And besides shortness of breath and the occasional chest pains I'm fine. I know long term damage is happening and although I am not in need to go to the doctors right now, I know in the future a lung cancer diagnosis is going to happen. I'm not saying that I don't value my life but I do understand the inevitable outcome. I always say I'd do much more if I had a family, a kid especially. I know I would definitely look for a better paying job, get my license and yes quit smoking is on that list which would result in my long living attitude turning into a positive one. I'd have someone else to live for and take care of.