Expectation

William Shakespeare said it best. "Expectation is the root of all Heartache"

You start something, be it a relationship in this case, with every wonderful expectation in the world. You can't do that. It always leads to someones heart getting hurt.
To stop expecting someone to do something, to be there, to give a shit, to simply care, will solve all your heartache problems really. Think about it. If you detach yourself from ever expecting anything, you are less likely to get hurt. You are less likely to look like a fool when the other person decides that you are not the right fit for them. And you are left standing there with your bleeding heart in your hands because it was just ripped out buy the person you expected would never hurt you.. Oh well, that was dramatic.

In my eyes soul mates are a myth. People throw that term around too loosely nowadays. You say you found that one person you were meant to be with... um yeah, I don't think so. You say you found that one person that you connect with on every level... um yeah just wait for it. You say you want to spend the rest of your life with that person... hahahaha. So you expect so much and put that person on such a high pedestal and the expectation for the perfect person gets shattered when they mess up. When you expect for them to do something that they say they will do, no matter the scale, and they let you down... who's the dummy here? you, who foolishly expected them to actually follow through... or the person who just fucked you sideways.
And back to that fricken Soulmate crap. I myself have not ever found this person, nor do I think I want to. I am fearful of that time. I think it's safe to say that my soulmate is my boogeyman, haha. I will run for the fuckin hills if I ever meet him.
Because I dread having to go through what I see other people going through I don't have high expectations for anyone coming into my life because of it. You trust someone, so you let them in but the walls will still stay up. They won't come down for anyone. It's such a headache. A cycle for me, over and over and over. Lies, hurt, let down, fail... rinse repeat. Sadly when I just said that I wasn't always at the receiving end.  But I don't expect anything from anyone... Ever. I just have low or no expectations at all. It's like, I don't expect anything from you... so don't expect it from me. You want to do what you want... so I'll do what I want. tit for tat... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". That's how I justify my actions. It's not the best way to go about life but it makes me feel better knowing that you can't fuck me over because I'm ten steps ahead of you.
Whoa, this just got really depressing and made me look like an evil twat. oh well.

But no seriously I'm fine people. Don't ask me if something is wrong. I just was long overdue for another entry and this was a draft I decided to finish that was started a couple months ago. I found that Shakespeare quote and it got me thinking about family, friends and my past. Meh, But you fuckers know it's the truth. kidding... not all of you are fuckers. kidding!!!!

Thank You... simple right?

Is it common courtesy to say "Thank you" if someone does something nice for you or is it something that you need to be taught from a young age. My family was always very quick to say their pleases and thank yous. But I'd like to think that I learned to do it not only from them, but because it was the right thing to do. The polite thing to do and it showed that you had manners for cripes sake. Well I'm not the poster child for manners per se but aside from my rather TMI nature of some content I choose to speak about and share, as far as being polite, I know for a friggen fact that I do that just fine.
Many people do wonderful things for me and I never miss the opportunity to tell them "Thank you". I do take notice when I do something, or I see other people do nice things for someone, and they never so much as say Thank you. Nothing was even acknowledged that a kind gesture was just made towards them.  I don't care how small it was, the fact that someone did something nice, deserves a Thank You, don't you think?

Oh Skully, you're just being overly sensitive about this... Big deal someone didn't say Thank You after you made them dinner, held the door open, watched their kid, fixed their broken window, bought them their favorite ice cream... I know I know, I need to get over it. It might not have been something they felt was worth a Thank You. I don't fish for acknowledgements when I do something nice, I'm just saying that the more and more you do something nice for people and the fact that you see it wasn't given so much as an appreciative thought, makes you not want to try to do nice things for them anymore. Makes you feel like they didn't care about what you did... they didn't like it so it didn't deserve a Thank you no matter how much effort they know you put into it.