This has been a sore subject for me for many many years. A couple days ago I had a conversation about this.
Is it just me? Should I let it go and just say "friendship" is more important to hold onto to let something so little as money get in between it? It actually was to me. Not for the other parties.
The first time I lent money to someone I considered my her best friend. After that day, no word no phone call, she moved and her phone number changed. Best friend right?... apparently not. The money didn't matter to me, I just lost my best friend over $80 bucks. She cared not to keep in contact with me over this. /shurg ... no loss.
The second was to help a friend get out of state running from another bad relationship. Money was sent... 5x the first amount I lent out. Now this money was something I needed to get back, I didn't physically have the cash so I dipped into cash advance on my credit card(fuckin stupid I know). And of course was promised I'd get it back within the next month. And as foolishly trusting as I was, It was a very bad decision. Before I was never one to turn my back on a friend, who calls me crying saying she needs help and even her own family won't help her. And of course everyone runs to gullible Skully, she is always so nice, she'll help. What killed me was that I went behind Jace's back to do this. He didn't know her, but I guess he just had a feeling. I should have listened. Needless to say, 7 months went by since the day I sent the money and I got my first phone call in about 6 months saying the same thing I heard before, I'll get the money next week... etc.. At that point it didn't matter. A supposed friend out of my life and dramas I don't have to listen to anymore. I'm really quick to cut someone off if they do me wrong. If you try to make amends and right the wrong, I will always forgive, but I never forget.
The conversation I had with a friend was about her family fucking her over. I was lucky in my case, these were just people I met that have no obligation to me to be truthful, understanding or compassionate and doesn't grasp the concept of a friend. But this was her family. When family does you wrong... that's it. The lowest form of a screw job IMO.
It sucks though, when you get screwed over in the past and vow to never get into that situation again, but you're just that much of a kind person that would help out. There is no telling how someone will react to your decision. If the person asking was a "True" friend they would completely understand, and respect your decision. Or they will respect you enough to not have to put you in that position of having to decline them monetary help. BUT it will always be "well that bitch didn't want to help me, I thought she was my friend" I guarantee you that will always be the reaction of a selfish, ungrateful person. Even if you're dirt shit struggling yourself, it's always going to be about them, and the fact that you can't help THEM.
Oh boy... rant... calm down *breathe* hehe. It's just a really sensitive topic I needed to get off my back, or put into words rather. And it's done. I think there's more lurking in the angry part of my brain. :-P
