In terms of dating, the word relationship can mean many different things to different people. I will mostly share what I've seen and heard from others, but will add my feelings in them as well, of course.
No one knows how long a relationship is going to last right off the bat. "That's the man/woman I'm gonna marry" when you just saw the person. 75% of the time, people are just joking about it with their friends. Another way of saying that person is fuckin hot. :-) But the other 25% are actually psycho stalkers/murderers... lol. I need a stalker... a nice one tho... one that won't kill me. hmm nvmd that's impossible. anyways... stalker sidetracked.
Fuck buddies are not considered a way of dating in many people's eyes. If both parties are ok with no feelings attached and just hook up for sex then that will work out. If both parties are exclusive to only each other, then great! more power to them. I've seen one relationship start off like this and that turned into a serious relationship still going strong. Damn those feelings, they always get in the way. kidding. I guess that's one way to start it off, I mean cuz yeah, you gotta talk right?... I guess. But the more you talk, the more you find that you really like that person and want to be around them more.
As much as having a FtF is frowned upon by a lot of people, I admire this way. You're both honest from the beginning of what you want and what you expect. Don't expect labels, don't expect me to take you out, don't expect me to call you and ask how your day was, don't expect me to spend the night, don't expect anyone in my life to know about you, don't expect me to be exclusive...Laid out flat right from the beginning. Up to you if you want to choose to accept this. No it's not dating, but it's honest. Don't drag someone along with lies because you're worried they will leave. If that's the case then offer them something more. In other words, don't be a fuckin pussy.
The confusing ones is where 2 people are not on the same page. No communication, one thinks they are in a relationship while the other just wants to mess around. Not good. Boundaries and intentions were not set from the beginning and someone ends up getting hurt. Seen friends go through this, it sucks. You want to tell them to wake up, but can't say much because you haven't experienced it yourself.... So you will get the "you don't know..." response. I'd like to say it happens when you're younger, because you'd like to think the older and wiser you get the more you'll learn. not the case. And something needs to change if it's happening to you over and over again. Unless you like this then go nuts.
The honest relationship is the one everyone ultimately wants right? The relationship where you openly say, this is my gf/bf, I'm dating this person and I want people to know about it. And although they don't know each other very well they will work on getting to know eachother as much as they can as they go along. But the effort was made from the beginning to put that label on it and that shows a lot. Makes them feel like they both want to try. Then if that leads to something long term then great!. But they will not hide anything from the other.
Situations where discretion is priority will always suck because the negatives will float through your mind. It makes you feel like you're not good enough to be shown off. You feel like the other person is ashamed of you. Like they're trying to hide you. Like that person is trying to hide something from you, or you from something/someone else. Like you're not good enough for them to openly give you that coveted boyfriend/girlfriend label. Your mind reverts back to dishonesty, lies and cheating thoughts. Its a natural reaction and like all your options you need to figure out if you want to go through this like it is or take your leave sooner then later. To be made to feel like things needs to be kept secret will always make you feel like just a fuck buddy. So you accept it and take it for what it is. Just go with the flow and don't ask questions. If discretion wasn't the intention then it all falls back onto communication. I have a lot of opinions and thoughts, but I don't always choose to share them for fear of feeling like a naive idiot. Because when I do share feelings I end up looking like an asshole and feel terrible when my mouth won't shut the fuck up :-) But that's my own hang ups I need to work on... and the wall will stay up.
(I know there was more to this entry but I will end it here... If I do decide to continue this I'll just make a part 2)
