The human mind always intrigues me.The way we think, the things we think about, the actions we do and the reasons behind those actions.
My favorite things to read are journals, diaries, life stories. People's everyday lives.
Not to the point of snooping into peoples rooms and stealing their diaries, but simply the ones that choose to share it with the world. Like "Live journal" or duh "Blogger" here. Some have nothing to hide and some have everything to hide but need a way to get their thoughts out for someone to hear so they post anonymous. Just to hear feedback from others, and people telling them it's ok. I respect those people only because they are searching for help knowing that the internet will hold no punches. People on the internet are crass and they will tell you like how it is. If you're looking for advice and opinions in the most unforgivable way, public forum is the perfect spot for you and you better be ready to accept everything that is said. I am not part of the collective vocal internet opinionated people. I read, and I try as much as possible to soak in and empathize.
My mind is in a constant state of wondering why people do the things that they do. Internet reading has a lot to do with that. Social media to be exact. Trying to read into things people say, why are they sad? why are they mad? why did they say that? etc. When you're vague about things expect people to come up with their own conclusions. When you choose to be vague while posing, expect those "Oh this is about me huh?" reactions. If you want to eliminate that, then go ahead and use names, cut's out that iffy middleman. As much as I claim I my brain is tiny and full of nothing but clouds and cotton candy (aw man, now I wanna eat my own brain), I do know that's not true. I love it when people say that they can "read me". They think they always know what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling by my body language or my general reactions. My answer is always the same. "yes, you are right" it's easier to say that then my actual opinion and thoughts. No one has time to listen to me. And to be purely honest, no one cares about my actual opinion, and I've accepted that. When you come across so many people that care nothing for your feelings and your opinions its easy to treat everyone the same, It will always be about them and what they need and what's going on in their lives. And sadly I cater to that. I will do what I can to make someone happy and feel good even if for a couple of hours. Well fuck, I just described a hooker...but anyways... Maybe that one person will come along and actually give those 2 shits about your opinion but you will never know because you completely block that part out. I don't verbally talk to people about my feelings. I do it here. Typing things out and letting people read it at their own choice and leisure if they want to, it's easier. and I've lived in my virtual internet world long enough to be comfortable with it. I have nothing negative ever said to me about the things that I choose to share, the few emails I do get from them are always positive. People agree with what I have to say. And my goofy posts are for entertainment purposes. And always puts smiles on peoples faces, which is my ultimate goal with those. My weight loss blog is more of motivation, a "this is what I did" blog, maybe it will work for some. Letting people know that it is a terrible struggle and they're not alone.
I'm all for change, change for the better, Change because you want to and not because someone told you to. If you were on a path that was destructive in some way towards yourself or others then you better change motherfucker! Do I believe that people can change? If they want to bad enough, then yes. If they don't want to change, then I won't help. Someone has to change for themselves first. They need to want to, and have remorse for the people that they hurt. Even if it was physically or emotionally hurting themselves, they have remorse for the hurt that they caused their loved ones watching them go through it. I despise people that have no remorse for others.
I have a very eccentric imagination. I put most of my thought and ramblings out for people to read. And as much as I do publicly post, I know what to keep to myself. For the most part I think about repercussions from what I say. I've never said anything damaging to anyone, if anything all the frowning upon and the openness for judgement falls on me. That's the idea behind sharing things about yourself for people to read. But I've also been told that it helps in a lot of ways as well. Makes people not feel like they are alone and they have the same thoughts and opinions as you.
